Although we don’t quite have Santa’s ability to watch over every boy and girl, we do have a secret super power of understanding pets. As the holiday season draws near, we wanted to ensure our patients were staying out of mischief and off the naughty list. We listened in on a conversation between a local dog and cat to ensure these pets stayed on Santa’s nice list and received all the treats and toys they deserve for being such good boys.
Pupper: Mister Fluffy Whiskers, look outside! The ground is covered in white frozen water again, which means it’s almost time for the indoor tree to come out. I love having a cozy warm bathroom inside.
Feline Overlord: Ahem. Pupper, you are older and more mature now, and you should know that I am the Feline Overlord, not Mister Fluffy Whiskers, regardless of what the Tiny Girl calls me. Also, only I am allowed to use the bathroom inside, as all puppers must go outside to do their business. Remember what happened last year?
Pupper: Oh, sorry, Your Magnificent Felineness! I will try to remember your true title. Last year was fine. There was a bit of yelling and arm-waving, but there were still wrapped bones and toys under the indoor tree for me. Only good puppers would get such things.
Feline Overlord: Do you remember what happened when you ripped into those wrapped gifts early?
Pupper: Uh, I have a great memory, Master Cat, but those were dark times and I choose to forget them.
Feline Overlord: Well, young Pupper, as you’re another year older, hopefully you’re also wiser. But, remember your naughty antics from last year, and learn from that lesson.
Pupper: I know, I know. Don’t chew on anything sparkly, shiny, or smelly, because then you have to spend the holidays at the veterinary hospital.
Feline Overlord: So you’ve learned that gulping down the ribbons decorating your gifts was a bad idea?
Pupper: Of course! I will never eat anything like that again. After having a chalky white substance squirted down my throat and a bunch of pictures taken to see what my insides were doing, I don’t want to eat anything that isn’t in my food dish. Although the pain meds the nice vet gave me after the surgery to remove the ribbon stuck in my gut made me feel pretty good, I don’t want to go through that again. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything for what felt like days!
Feline Overlord: So, say the Tiny Girl wanted to share the treats from her large sock with you. Would you accept?
Pupper: That’s a tough one. She’s not as old and smart as me, so maybe she doesn’t know candy and chocolate are bad for me. I had enough tummy troubles last year, and I don’t want to experience vomiting and diarrhea again. And, I heard that Benji a couple blocks over ate his diabetic owner’s sugar-free candy and got really weak and had seizures! I’m definitely going to avoid any candy I sniff out.
Feline Overlord: I’m impressed, young whippersnapper. That’s actually a good idea.
Pupper: Although I’m not as old as you, I know my stuff—like running when the Tiny Girl comes at me with a festive outfit, no matter how adorable I am as Rudolph the red-nosed retriever. That jingling collar was tight. And, I may have nibbled on my antlers when I knocked them off—but I’m not eating anything other than kibble again.
Feline Overlord: Good plan. You run from costumes, and I’ll run when the doorbell starts ringing. The Tall Man was really scared when we tried to sneak out the front door, so I suppose we shouldn’t bolt when all those loud people come at us. Maybe we should plan to hang out in the bedroom for the party this year.
Pupper: I know I’d be happier away from all that chaos. Give me a cozy bed, my new bone, turn on “Santa Paws,” and I’m set.
Feline Overlord: I’d much rather watch “The Nine Lives of Christmas,” but I’ll hopefully have a new catnip mouse to distract me.
Pupper: Hang out and watch the movie, and don’t worry about cleaning up after the party this year. Last year, you lapped up that spilled drink, and you were stumbling around and fell asleep before the end of “Santa Paws.”
Feline Overlord: That creamy drink was delicious, but I think they must have put something more than catnip in it. It upset my tummy in more ways than one …
Pupper: Let’s make a pact this year—let’s stick to normal treats and avoid shiny objects, no matter how tasty they might smell or look. Deal?
Feline Overlord: Great idea, Pupper! Let’s nose boop on it.
Has your pet ended up on the naughty list? Give us a call—we can help keep your furry friend out of trouble this holiday season.